Late Night Revelations
by Kythe42
Summary: Henry can't sleep as he replays the events of the previous day over and over in his head and begins to examine the nature of his relationship with Jo.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I'm merely borrowing them for my own amusement.

Spoilers: Takes place the day after Season 1 Episode 13 and has spoilers for that episode as well as prior episodes.

Author's Notes: This story was written for the Sleepless in New York - Forever Ficathon Week event on AO3.

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Henry rolled over in bed and looked at his clock again. It was now 12:30 in the morning and he'd been trying to fall asleep for the past hour without much luck. He could not seem to shut off his mind from all of the thoughts that were plaguing it. It had only been a day since the diamond robbery case had been wrapped up, but it felt like so much more time had passed and yet at the same time it was fresh enough in his mind that it was as if the whole thing had only happened a couple of hours ago. He'd been distracted all day at work. He could not stop thinking about how Jo's life had been in danger and he hadn't been there to protect her. All she'd had was his words over the phone to guide her and while he had been positive that she would be alright if she followed his instructions, there was always the potential for things go wrong.

He was so terrified after the call had been disconnected after she crashed the car into the barrier and that feeling of cold icy dread did not lift until he was able to rush to her side to see that she was in fact ok. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relieved. Henry couldn't remember the last time he'd cared about someone this much, save for Abe, that he could feel this scared for them. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to bear it if something had happened to Jo. The thought of her being seriously hurt or killed filled him with such strong emotions of anxiety and dread that he wasn't sure what to make of it. He wasn't sure how it had happened that he'd let himself care about her so much. At first they'd just been partners and casual friends who shared the common bond of both having lost their spouses. Then he'd found himself growing more and more fond of her the longer they worked together to the point where he was willing to risk revealing his secret in order to protect her. Then there had been that additional bond that had drawn them even closer together after they'd both killed people and shared the same emotional turmoil over it even if the kills had been in the defense of themselves and others.

Henry realized that he desperately wanted, no needed, Jo in his life. He looked forward to going to work so much more than he used to just knowing that he was going to see her. She had revitalized him and had helped him to start really living again. He wanted to spend time with her and he also wanted to protect her from physical harm and help her through the emotional pain and grief she was struggling with. That was why he'd gone over to her house the night before and he was grateful that she had let him be there for her instead of turning him away and opting to be alone. Was it possible to have such strong feelings about someone and yet remain only friends? He wasn't sure, but he sensed that things couldn't go on the way they were indefinitely. Something would have to change at some point whether he wanted it to or not. He didn't think that either he or Jo was ready to move beyond friendship even if the affection they felt for each other was really starting to push the boundaries of traditional friendship, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that there was no part of him that desired more.

He knew he was never going to get to sleep with all of these thoughts running in circles through his head. A big part of him wanted to head over to Jo's place and see if she was alright, but he knew that it would be rather presumptuous of him to do that two nights in a row even if it wasn't so late, so he opted for getting up and making himself a cup of chamomile tea to help calm him. Despite the cold night air he went out on the terrace to drink his tea wearing just a robe over his pajamas. Even though he couldn't see many stars due to the city lights, he still found some small comfort in the beauty of the ones that were still visible. He gazed up at the night sky as he sipped his tea for a few minutes, and then just as he gazed down to the street below a taxi pulled up in front of the shop and a woman staggered out of the car. Henry walked closer to the edge of the terrace and squinted downward. The woman looked a lot like Jo, but what was she doing here so late and why did she arrive in a taxi if that was in fact her? She walked up to the shop door, but just stood there staring at it. Henry knew he'd better go downstairs and see what was going on so he quickly finished his tea then went inside and downstairs to the shop entrance.

Sure enough it was Jo standing outside the shop. She looked upset and she was swaying from side to side a bit and was clearly intoxicated. She kept raising her hand and lowering it as if she couldn't decide whether to knock or not. Henry hurried over to the door and unlocked it. Jo looked a bit startled as he opened the door as if she hadn't noticed his approach. "Jo what are you doing here? Are you alright?" Jo opened her mouth and shut it again without saying anything and then shook her head. "Ok well it's freezing outside, come inside and we can talk." Jo nodded mutely and stepped inside the shop. Henry locked up again and led Jo up the stairs placing his hand on her arm every so often to steady her.

"I'm sorry," Jo said with slightly slurred speech after she sat down on the living room couch. "I shouldn't have come here. I just didn't want to be alone right now."

"It's quite alright. I couldn't sleep anyway," Henry assured her. "And even if I had been asleep I wouldn't have minded. I'm actually quite glad you stopped by. I was worried about you," he admitted.

"So much for being the least judgmental person I'll ever meet," Jo grumbled.

"No, there's a difference between being worried about a person and judging them," Henry pointed out. "I'm certainly not one to judge a person for getting excessively drunk. Heaven knows I've had my fair share of nights like that. However I am concerned and I do hope that you don't make a regular habit of this. Now just rest here a moment while I fix you something to drink."

"Not more of that green gunk?" she said with a groan.

"No no," Henry said with a chuckle. "Though you might be wanting some in the morning. For now I promise you it will only be tea." Jo nodded and sighed with relief and Henry wandered off to the kitchen to prepare some more chamomile tea for the two of them and when he returned with the mugs he sat down next to Jo who seemed to be staring intently at the coffee table. He handed her one of the mugs of tea and she took it silently. "We don't have to talk Jo if you don't want to, but know that I'm here to listen."

Jo nodded and took a sip of her tea. "I know. Thank you Henry for being here for me," she said and scooted up close to him and rested her head on his shoulder much as she had done the previous night on her doorstep. Henry put his arms around her and hugged her gently and she let out a shuddering sigh trying not to cry. "Hanson is great and all, but he's not good with this sort of thing, and he doesn't really understand like you do. You might not always say the right thing at first, but you mean well and you get there eventually."

"Of course. I'll always be here for you Jo. I can promise you that," he said and hugged her more tightly for a moment.

Jo shook her head wondering how he could make such promises to her when he knew more than anyone the temporary nature of life and at the same time seemed to have no regard for his own safety. She almost wanted to snap at him about it, but she didn't have the strength to. "I was doing better for awhile. After we started working together I found it easier to forget my grief, but that case brought it all crashing back..." she trailed off choking back a sob.

"I know, I know," said Henry as he rubbed her back.

"I just want the pain to go away. It hurts so much," Jo whispered through her tears.

"I told you that it never really goes away, but it will lessen with time. Unfortunately we must allow ourselves to feel the pain in order to heal from it. There will always be times though when it all comes crashing back even if you were doing well for months or even years at a time."

Jo looked up at Henry and could see such sorrow in his face that she almost felt like she should be the one offering him comfort. She also realized how much he seemed to care about her. She recalled the looks of terror and relief that had flashed across his face as he had rushed to her side after she crashed the car. When he'd squeezed her hand it had been as much to reassure himself as her that everything was alright. She wasn't sure what they were anymore. They were certainly more than colleagues and partners, but were they more than friends? She wasn't sure, but she knew that she cared about him more deeply than she did most of her friends. It wasn't just that they had both been through similar circumstances, there was just something about him that fascinated her and in general her life had seemed brighter since meeting him. It wasn't just that he was a medical and forensic genius and that it was fun watching him work. She supposed that a big part of it had to do with that air of mystery about him, how he kept himself closed off from others, and the more he resisted opening up, the more she wanted to get to know him. Only very recently had he started to open up to her a little and she considered it to be a personal triumph. The fact that he had saved her life multiple times was also a point in his favor. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system, but all of a sudden it felt like hugging him wasn't nearly enough. She knew it was a bad idea, and even felt a surge of guilt as if she was betraying her husband, but it was as if she had lost complete control of her body and found herself leaning in to kiss Henry.

Henry's heart started racing as Jo leaned in towards him. He had seen the look of wonder and longing in her eyes and he knew what she intended to do. There was a big part of him that wanted to give in to it and let her kiss him, but she was intoxicated and grief stricken, and he didn't want it to happen like this. If they were going to move beyond friendship, it was a decision that would have to be made when they were both clearheaded and preferably after Jo had had more time to grieve properly. He forced himself to do the right thing and lifted one of his hands up to cover her mouth before her lips connected with his and gently pushed her away from him a bit.

Jo blinked genuinely surprised that Henry had stopped the kiss. She knew she should be grateful because it was really something they shouldn't be doing, but a part of her felt hurt and rejected as well. She had thought he was developing feelings for her, but perhaps she had completely misread him. She untangled herself from him and turned away starting to cry again in spite of herself.

"I'm sorry, but you know we can't do this," Henry apologized in a desperate tone. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings right now and he hoped she would understand why he couldn't let this happen at the present time.

"I know, you're not interested in me in that way and I'm not even your type," Jo said biting her lip as she turned her gaze to the floor not being able to bear looking him in the eye. "My husband is gone, and you don't want me either." More tears fell from her eyes and she brushed them away angry at herself for allowing herself to get into this situation.

"Oh Jo that is not true. Look at me," Henry said and gently cupped Jo's cheek lifting her face up until her gaze met his own. "I sometimes say things I don't mean as part of the facade I project to the world and we hadn't even known each other for very long when I said those things. You are a beautiful woman both inside and out. I've grown very fond of you over the past few months and I care for you more than you can imagine. You are the first friend I've made in a long time and I could never jeopardize that by doing something that you might regret because you were both intoxicated and grieving at the time. Do you understand?" He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze to let her know that he meant what he said. Jo nodded and he pulled her back into his embrace.

"I guess I should thank you for remaining ever the gentleman and putting my wellbeing first," Jo said wearily and put her head back on Henry's shoulder.

"Of course. I could never do anything to hurt you," Henry said gently stroking her hair.

"What are we though?"

"I'm not sure why you feel the need to put a label on our relationship, but perhaps the term best friends would be appropriate?"

Jo nodded. "I think I like that."

"If later on, when you are clearheaded and have had more time to properly deal with your husband's death, you decide you want to be more than that, we can discuss it at that time," Henry promised.

"You're right. Now was horrible timing. I'm just so lonely and in pain," Jo explained. "And the alcohol probably didn't help."

"I don't know how much I can help with the pain although I will do my best, but you needn't ever be lonely so long as I'm around. Whatever it is that we are meant to be, we will get there in good time," Henry said and sighed knowing that good time meant something completely different to him than it did to everyone else.

"You really are a good friend Henry. I'm sorry," Jo apologized as she made the sudden realization that Henry's actions might not have been entirely about her.

"It's alright, you have nothing to be sorry for," Henry reassured her squeezing her hand.

"I just meant that you have your own loss that you're dealing with and I should have considered that you might not be any more ready than I am to move beyond friendship."

Henry nodded. "Yes there is that, but admittedly my own feelings aren't entirely straightforward. There is a part of me that does crave more than friendship, but I suppose you are right that I'm not really ready either despite the fact that Abigail has been gone for quite some time and I should have moved on with my life long ago. Perhaps I was just waiting to meet someone that was worth moving on for," he said giving Jo a warm smile. Jo returned his smile but didn't say anything more. They sat together in a comfortable silence for awhile with his arms still around Jo and after a short time she fell asleep. Henry debated whether or not he should untangle himself from her and go to sleep in his own bed, but he found that he really didn't want to leave. He pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch and covered both of them with it. He wasn't sure if she would remember any of this in the morning, but he was grateful to have this time with her regardless. Henry realized that in spite of everything he was much more calm and relaxed now than he was before Jo had shown up and as he drifted off to sleep he wondered if he'd ever be able to fall asleep again without her safe and sound in his arms.


End file.
